Here's to the future

I walk into 2013 without fear... I have no idea what the future holds and it's not my job to try to control it.. All I control is myself .. Learn to a better me .. Stop punishing and beating myself over things that have already happened... It sucks to be going into a new year without him but I don't have any other option... So I walk into to the year fearless and determined... Hello 2013 please be good to me 🙏

The internal fight

It's really hard to watch yourself change but it's always necessary. Whatever happened to you happened to make you the person you are now... The events aren't always as obvious as others.. You just know these moments because your choices are give up/fall apart or keep strong/fight....
Don't hate the person.. Love them because they have something you didn't have before.. Live is all about the evolution of self unfortunately... This is usually caused by great Pain or great Madness!

Never too far away

"Never Too Far"

You're with me

Til the bitter end

What we had transcends 

This experience 

Too painful to 

Talk about 

So I'll hold it in 

Til my heart can mend 

And be brave enough to love again 

A place in time 

Still belongs to us 

Stays preserved in my mind 

In the memories there is solace 

Never too far away 

I won't let time erase 

One bit of yesterday 

Cause I have learned that 

Nobody can take your place 

Though we can never be 

I'll keep you close to me 

When I remember 

Glittering lights 

Incandescent eyes 

Still preserved 

In my mind 

In the memories I'll find solace 

Never too far away 

I won't let time erase 

One bit of yesterday 

And I have learned that 

Nobody can take your place 

Though we can never be 

I'll keep you close to me 

And I'll remember 

A place in time 

Still belongs to us 

Stays preserved in my mind 

In the memories there is solace 

Never too far away 

I won't let time erase 

One bit of yesterday 

Cause I have learned that 

Nobody can take your place 

And though we can never be 

I'll always think of you and me 

Always remember 

Love 

You're never too far

Me and my 50 shades

Who am I? I'm a lot of things a mother, a woman,  daughter, a friend, a sister, a widow... I'm strong, determined, ambitious, and driven but sometimes reality has a way of making your dreams seem too far to reach.  Let me start with the basics.  I'm a 32 mother of 3.. The past year and half had been for lack of better words difficult.  In one day I went from my life finally falling into place to everything I thought I knew and understood being shattered..  But don't cry for me I'm not one for pity. I'm all about motivation, determination and moving forward; no matter if all 3 are sometimes easier said than done...

This is me speaking my very candidly about my life.  i don't expect people to care but i know what its like to feel like no one can understand what you're going through and not know how to express yourself.   So I'm  going to express myself maybe I'll be heard or maybe i will Help, Motivate,  and maybe even bring a smile to a face of someone going through something....  So don't expect the whoa is me talk here..   I live a life full of big dreams come true and need to give my kids a wonderful life..

Self Love.. In my life I struggled a lot with I was the shy, brown-skin, skinny, big eyed girl.  In my teens I was painfully shy and hated to speak in front of people.  Physically the boys had lemme know I wasn't pretty like the light skin girls or the ones with huge breast.  Right around 18 I started to be opposite of everything I used to be and begin to get aquatinted with the girl in the mirror.. In my early 20s I became very oblivious to what people felt about me and begin to enjoy my individuality.    By my mid 20s motherhood calmed me down and I begin to fall in love with myself more.   When I was 25 someone fell in love with me.. Loved me for the truest of me, flaws, mistakes, craziness, and obsessions...   Once he was gone I couldn't understand how anyone would ever see and love me so honestly and pure ever again..  At 32 I begin to love myself the way he did.. I begin seeing myself how he saw me.. Strong , Gorgeous, and Determined...  💛💙💜💚 that was my love affair with myself in short...