Me and my 50 shades

Who am I? I'm a lot of things a mother, a woman,  daughter, a friend, a sister, a widow... I'm strong, determined, ambitious, and driven but sometimes reality has a way of making your dreams seem too far to reach.  Let me start with the basics.  I'm a 32 mother of 3.. The past year and half had been for lack of better words difficult.  In one day I went from my life finally falling into place to everything I thought I knew and understood being shattered..  But don't cry for me I'm not one for pity. I'm all about motivation, determination and moving forward; no matter if all 3 are sometimes easier said than done...

This is me speaking my very candidly about my life.  i don't expect people to care but i know what its like to feel like no one can understand what you're going through and not know how to express yourself.   So I'm  going to express myself maybe I'll be heard or maybe i will Help, Motivate,  and maybe even bring a smile to a face of someone going through something....  So don't expect the whoa is me talk here..   I live a life full of big dreams come true and need to give my kids a wonderful life..

Self Love.. In my life I struggled a lot with I was the shy, brown-skin, skinny, big eyed girl.  In my teens I was painfully shy and hated to speak in front of people.  Physically the boys had lemme know I wasn't pretty like the light skin girls or the ones with huge breast.  Right around 18 I started to be opposite of everything I used to be and begin to get aquatinted with the girl in the mirror.. In my early 20s I became very oblivious to what people felt about me and begin to enjoy my individuality.    By my mid 20s motherhood calmed me down and I begin to fall in love with myself more.   When I was 25 someone fell in love with me.. Loved me for the truest of me, flaws, mistakes, craziness, and obsessions...   Once he was gone I couldn't understand how anyone would ever see and love me so honestly and pure ever again..  At 32 I begin to love myself the way he did.. I begin seeing myself how he saw me.. Strong , Gorgeous, and Determined...  💛💙💜💚 that was my love affair with myself in short...