Hold you in my arms

As the anniversary of our engagement lingers so close for some reason I can't stop the tears ... Usually I'm great at dealing with the lost of you I shed my tears wipe them and keep moving forward..right now the tears keep following and I find myself begging God for my husband back... Can I have just 5 more minutes to lie in your arms... I need to hear you tell me everything will be okay... I want you here with me.. I know it's selfish I know you're in a better place I know everything happens for a reason but I miss you so much.. I mis your eyes I miss your kisses I miss your voice I miss fighting with you I miss you being here..I'm healing and it is easier than last year buttt I miss you so much.. I love you and all I want is you back here with me.. It hurts like hell and the emptiness where you used to be is never filled ... I will go back smiling and being okay but for the next 36 hours please forgive me my love I can't seem to control the need to hold you in my arms to smell your skin and hear you breathing...